The Dann Chronicles: February 🥶

All your biomarkers in one place, a twisty shaker bottle, the Wirecutter of health and fitness, award-winning stationary, and the last nail file I'll ever buy

February 2025

Hey all,

This winter feels a lot like the old New York winters I remember. We didn’t get any massive snowstorms, but we did get some snow—and it stayed cold enough for it to stick around for more than a day or two.

Now we’re in that stretch of time—after the holidays but before the first warm days—when everything seems to slow down. Me? I’ve been daydreaming about commuting on bike over the Manhattan Bridge into the office…once it’s not quite this cold.

I think we still have a little while left of this weather. But hopefully, the coldest snaps of the season are behind us.

-Dann

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🧪 Healthy in form and Function

The healthcare system in the United States sucks for a multitude of reasons. At its core, many of these issues stem from a system that disempowers both patients and doctors. For-profit insurance companies act as middlemen, often making essential care unaffordable—or completely out of reach—by overruling the decisions of highly trained physicians.

Last month, I signed up for a service that feels like a revelation: Function Health. For $500 per year (plus a few hundred dollars for lab work, depending on your state), Function Health provides access to over 100 blood tests that would otherwise be nearly impossible for the average person to obtain. The results are then delivered in a first-of-its-kind Health Dashboard.

From their FAQ:

The traditional insurance route typically requires a specific symptom or condition to warrant comprehensive testing. (We find it backward to require the existence of a condition to test for that same condition.)

To get all the tests included in your Function membership, you would need to work with a doctor willing to request these 100+ tests. Doctors rarely have the time needed to review this many tests, let alone to understand and explain your results to you. They also want to avoid creating financial burdens on their patients who may be billed for any advanced lab tests. You would also likely miss out on insights from the world’s top doctors based on your specific results.

Amazingly, my biological age is eight years younger than my actual age. But on the flip side, several biomarkers—specifically related to my heart—need improvement. Function Health provided the results of all my tests, along with detailed clinician notes and personalized diet and supplement recommendations.

It’s already motivated me to make some changes, and I’m looking forward to June, when I can take my next round of tests to see how these adjustments impact my numbers.

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💪 Shake it off, shake it off

Last month, I mentioned that I’m getting back into healthier eating habits in 2025. Part of that effort includes being more mindful of my protein intake. One of the easiest ways to boost protein is by incorporating shakes into my routine.

That goal led me to my latest cool product discovery: the HELMIX 2.0 Blender Shaker bottle.

Most shaker bottles rely on a clunky metal spring ball to mix powders into liquid. The HELMIX, however, uses a clever twisty shape instead. This design creates a vortex effect, making your drink spin in one direction when you shake up and the opposite direction when you shake down.

I can genuinely confirm that this concept works. My protein shakes mix smoothly—no clumps, no extra inserts needed.

I’m filing this discovery under the category of tiny quality-of-life improvements that are totally unnecessary yet absolutely delightful.

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🧬 The Wirecutter of health

Sure, Bryan Johnson—the millionaire tech founder spending millions to reverse aging—looks a little stranger every year, but it’s hard to deny his brilliance. Unlike traditional snake oil salesmen, everything he says and does is backed by data.

I had an epiphany this month while drinking my daily Longevity Mix: Bryan Johnson is basically the Wirecutter of fitness and health. He cuts through the noise and simply recommends the best things we can do for our bodies—whether it’s food, supplements, workouts, or sleep strategies.

But unlike Wirecutter, which relies heavily on personal preference, Johnson’s Blueprint Protocol is rooted in transparent metrics and science. All of his data is published and freely available on his website.

His philosophy, Zeroism (available as a free PDF), is part of what inspired me to join Function Health (as mentioned earlier). I’ve incorporated several of Johnson’s recommendations into my routine, and I’m looking forward to seeing what changes—if any—show up in my next blood test.

If you’re curious about the Blueprint approach, Netflix just released a 90-minute documentary: Don't Die: The Man Who Wants to Live Forever. It’s a fascinating look at someone who, in my opinion, is providing an invaluable service to humanity.

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🖋️ The right write

Despite our world becoming increasingly digital, there will always be a place for good old-fashioned pen and paper. In fact, analog tools seem to be getting more and more delightful as their use shifts from pure necessity to personal preference.

Japan’s prestigious Stationery Shop Awards, now in its 13th edition, recently announced their 2025 winners. Among the standouts: the Kori Jirushi Ice Stamp Series, featuring an innovative clear design for flawless impressions every time, won the Idea Award, while Pilot’s Kire-na Highlighters, designed with built-in guides for perfectly straight lines, took home the coveted Grand Award.

Here in the U.S., JetPens recently published their picks for the 46 Best Pens for 2025. Their overall top choice? The three-dollar Uni Jetstream Ballpoint Pen. But whether you’re looking for the smoothest gel ink, the best budget fountain pen, or a great option for left-handed writers (if you know, you know), there’s something for everyone.

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💅 Keratin win

My metal fingernail file had a good run—nearly two decades. But over the past couple of years, I started noticing it wasn’t as effective as it once was. The well-worn edges just didn’t seem to file as smoothly anymore.

While searching for a replacement, I stumbled upon something new: glass (or crystal) nail files are considered best-in-class. I didn’t even know glass nail files existed.

I decided to give one a shot and picked up a $7 file by Mont Bleu. And by golly, the research was right. It doesn’t feel as rough to the touch as a traditional file, but it shapes nails like an absolute champ.

Theoretically, glass nail files last longer than other materials, so it’s possible I just bought the last nail file I’ll ever need. As long as I don’t drop it the wrong way, that is.

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End note

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Also, if you find anything interesting, send it my way.

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Thanks for reading. Until next time,
Dann